By PAUL CARR
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Not only had they taken thinkofthechildren down, but they’d disconnected my entire server, including The Friday Thing and my own personal email account. ’ I asked Martin Bormann. ’ ‘Er . . All right then. ’ Like hell I was. ’ *Click* Prick. Now, I should say at this point that I was honestly, honestly, going to take down the part of the site that gave advice on setting up mobs. After all, it wasn’t that funny. And the idea of being carted off to court for inciting violence when every chav in the country was standing outside the courts baying for blood didn’t hugely appeal.
Silence. Did it even work? Was buzzing too working class for this place? I pressed again. A few moments later the door opened with a barely audible click and I stepped inside, pulling the door firmly closed behind me. I was on the inside now. Safe. Just a smooth lift ride was all that remained between me and the fifth floor: the gateway to Perplex City. Everything inside Perplex City was overwhelming. The walls were painted a stark – almost blinding – white. Likewise the furniture – what little there was – and even the mugs in the kitchen were plain white.
The degree has also made Benjamin rethink his impressions of internet pornography, a subject that he has been criticised for in the past. com, Europe’s first and largest adult search engine. Destined to cause controversy, Cohen has always displayed mixed views towards this aspect of his empire. ‘In one sense I still stand by the comments that I made last year about freedom of speech and the right of the individual to access pornography. ’ The above might actually be my favourite paragraph, not just in this press release, but in any press release ever sent.
Bringing Nothing To The Party by PAUL CARR